He wrote that in an hour and a half....during a pyschology class??? that cant be good

Ok,so I stumbled upon another thing I'd written awhile back. Back in High School, senior year actually...so 2003, I had a psychology class. It was fun and I learned a lot. However, one day we had a substitute teacher, so no teaching really, just homework. I chose not to do homework, (oops!) and instead wrote this during the hour and a half of class. Here is, "Moon Cheese" a folk tale.

Moon Cheese
One day the moon fell to the ground, and shattered into many small pieces. Three rats came and tried to eat the pieces of moon, thinking that it was cheese. The first rat took a bite. “Yech! This isn’t cheese!” said the first rat.

“It’s like a rock.” said the second rat.

The third rat smacked the other two and said “you idiots, the moon is a rock, not cheese! Didn’t you pay attention in school?”

The first rat looked at the second rat and whispered in his ear, “Third Rat has always been mean to us. Let us devise a dirty plan to rid ourselves of this nuisance.” They looked back at the third rat and said, “ok. We need to get the not cheese moon rock back where it belongs then.”

The third rat agreed and quickly put together a plan for putting the moon back in space.

“First of all,” said the third rat. “We need a giant magnet to gather up the moon pieces.” The first two rats then set out to find a magnet. They soon found Bob’s magnet emporium. They went inside and found the world’s largest magnet, on sale for only $29,999.99, at Bob’s magnet emporium. Right off the highway, see the website for details.

The Two rats pooled their money together but came up short by two cents. Bob asked if they had anything else to use for pay. They thought and thought, and then they tore off their whiskers and tied them together in the shape of a dollar sign.

“That will work.” said Bob. They took off with the magnet, and soon made it back to the third rat.

“Ok. Now we need a Rocket of sorts.” said the third rat.

“Will a bottle rocket work?” asked the second rat.

“Yes, that will be fine.” replied the third rat. The first two rats went to the first rat’s home and found a two liter bottle. The put gasoline in the bottle and put the top back on and brought a few matches along, and returned to the third rat. He was cooking, and of all things, cheese.

“Do we need anything else?” asked the first rat.

“Yes, go and search for a clamp. A big one to hold the moon to the rocket.”

And so the two rats went out to find a clamp that would hold the moon to the rocket. They searched and searched, and found a place called “Rob’s Clamp Emporium.”

They went inside and asked Rob for a clamp. But who should it be when he turned around, but Bob, from Bob’s magnet emporium. “Bob?!” the two rats cried.

“Uhh no, I’m Bob’s cousin Rob. We have an incredible likeness. We’re uh..we’re twins!”

“But we thought you were cousins.” The two rats inquired.

Rob replied, “Umm yeah. We are. It’s weird actually, my whole family looks like me, even my cat.”

Terror spread on the two rats little faces, “You have a cat???”

They heard a meow of a cat and turned to see the cat they feared would be there. The funny thing is, it DID look like Rob. The cat chased them around Rob’s legs gaining on them and losing ground and gaining on them again and again.

“So you guys want a clamp? I got just the thing.” Rob left and got a clamp measuring to about 50 feet in circumference. “Here you are, and its free, since you are about to be eaten by my cat anyway.” The two rats were grateful and grabbed the clamp. They turned and clamped it closed on the cat, and then threw it across the room.

They made their way back to the third rat in time for night fall. “Great job you guys. Now for your hard work here’s some cheese cooked just the way you like it.” The two rats gobbled up the cheese with great joy. Then they went back to work and gathered up the pieces of moon with the magnet.

The two rats felt sick, and their stomachs felt like they were being pulled on or ripped from their bodies. But they pained through the work and clamped the moon to the bottle and magnet.

“Ok, stand back I’m going to launch it.” said the third rat. The two rats stepped back smirking, knowing that the metal plate that was placed in the third rat’s head years ago would eventually lock him to the magnet and send him up with the moon.

The Rocket took off with the moon attached to its special place in the sky. The first two rats felt a slight tug in their stomachs and then were ripped from the earth and slapped to the Magnet. The third rat had put pieces of the magnetic moon in the cheese that they ate. “Drats, foiled again.” they said.

The third rat walked away with a big grin on his face as the rocket flew away, until he too was ripped from the earth and flung onto the magnet next to the other two rats. Third rat had forgotten about the metal plate in his head. “Drats. I’m foiled.”

And the three of them bickered and argued all the way into space. And from that day on the nursery rhyme was changed from “The cow jumped over the moon,” to “the rats jumped into the moon.”

THE END

No, NO! don't tell me he's bringing THAT up again.

Ok so, to keep in line with the whole writing thing, I figured I should post things I have written in the past. Maybe longer pieces, and maybe shorter pieces. This is a shorter piece. It's not incredibly profound or anything, but I enjoy it. I wrote it when I worked as a host at a restaurant and we were slow that night (wrote it on a order ticket).

I give you...

"The Ballad of the Chicken"

Enter the Chicken, with feathers light;
Brave and Daring, but lacking flight;
Lop of their heads, and see their plight;
The dying chicken, what a joyous sight.

We'll want to prepare them, first leave them overnight;
Put them in the cooler, packed in tight;
Comes time to eat them, first nibble then bite;
Gulp them on down, hit the spot just right.

They left some eggs, for us to smite;
covered in shell, that's oval and white;
Gone is the chicken, is gone tonight;
Gone to that great big chicken coop in the sky....
...Up where flies, the kite.



so, yeah. comment, tell me how horrible I am or how distasteful you found it. I for one, still enjoy it, despite it's lack of quality. eh.

Til next time Blogophiles.

Crazy little thing called......Blog?

So after several futile attempts over the years (probably including this one) I thought I'd give a ...."blog"....another go.

the original intent of Spoiled Mangoes was to be a review blog for independent films, Local and Non. Buuuut, since I don't get out much to see anything locally made, I figured what good would I be to offer my opinions. Plus, who am I to say what was good or not...right?

so instead, here i'll probably just rant about things like anyone else does. cliche' I know, but whatever. Since my goal is to eventually write and produce Television...maybe I'll share some thoughts on that, or progress...update on shows I like on TV, shows I hate...

...Maybe shows I want to make, but not too much, cause I don't want you people stealing my genius ideas! (ha!) maybe just a few notes here and there or portions of freewritten stuff...or just freewriting, kind of like now.

anyhow, that's all I got this time around. see ya next time on...

Spoiled Mangoes. ;)